The New Bean Brigade: El Tigre by the Tail
by Owennumber1fan
Summary: When our villains head to Miracle City to recruit a new member, they run across El Tigre. But will he stop them, or join them?
1. A Team for Manny

Disclaimer: You know the drill.

The New Bean Brigade #2

"El Tigre by the Tail."

To most people, Miracle City resembled a typical Mexican-style town. But the place was inhabited by not only normal citizens, but by assorted heroes and villains. And it was the latter that concerned a recent group of newcomers.

"There it is, Miracle City" Mad Jack addressed his teammates "if you can make it here, you can make it anywhere. Oh no wait, that's New York."

"How'd we get here, anyway?" Tolinator wondered.

"Remember, we used our new jet, the _Legume One_" Mad Jack reminded him "I would've preferred something more frightening, but Hannibal was in charge of picking the name."

"Are you sure we'll find some villains here?" Control Freak asked.

"Yes, according to Hannibal, this place has the highest villain to person rate in the world, next to the City of Townsville" Mad Jack explained "I'm not sure how they stay in business with so much crime though."

"I calculate the possibility of us finding a new member is extremely likely" Mather added.

"Well whoever we find has to be better than Camille" Charmcaster said "I don't know about you, but I couldn't stand that spoiled, self-absorbed brat. Hopefully we can find another female villain, but one with less personality flaws."

"But a huge rack!" CF added, eliciting a groan from the white-haired sorceress.

"Man, a place where super villains are allowed to roam free" Tolinator said, awestruck "that's the place for me. I wonder if I could get a summer home here."

"You'd have to have a home first bro, seriously" Motor Ed explained.

"I have one, it's just been foreclosed on" Tolinator explained.

"Discuss your living arrangements later" Mad Jack interrupted "we have evil to find."

* * *

Elsewhere in the city, young Manny Rivera was getting ready for school. He had no clue, however, that he and the Bean Brigade would soon cross paths.

"Manny, before you go to school, I have some wisdom of my own to impart on you" Rodolfo told him.

"What is it papi?"

"I think it is time for you to consider joining a group of some kind" Rodolfo said, "a group can offer you positive reinforcement that will help lead you on the path to becoming a great hero like me. When I was your age, I joined the Junior League, and what I learned with them eventually helped me on my way to becoming White Pantera. Do you understand what I am saying?"

"Si, but why did you have to tell me this now?" Manny asked.

"It seemed like the right time for some reason" Rodolfo replied "ooh, my toast is done. Well, off to school, don't want to be late, do you?"

"Si papi" Manny replied.

Manny soon arrived at the Leone Middle school and met up with his friend Frida Suarez.

"What's up Manny?"

"My papi was talking to me about the time he was part of a junior league when he was younger" Manny explained "he's trying to urge me to join a team like he did. He says it will help to develop my skills as a hero."

"Well if you join any group, you'd better see what kind of cool stuff they offer" Frida said.

"I don't think it's that simple" Manny replied.

"Yes it is" Frida told him "if you're going to join a group, they should have cool stuff, 'cause then you can get that stuff, and give it to your friends."

"Hmm…that actually makes sense" Manny said.

"Of course, it's the law of the world, or something" Frida said.

"Perhaps there is a club here at school I could join" Manny suggested.

"I don't know Manny, a lot of these school clubs are really lame" Frida replied.

"I don't care, I will join a club to impress my papi, this I swear!"

"Okay, but don't blame me if you don't get accepted."

* * *

Meanwhile, the Bean Brigade had congregated across the border in the town of Calavera, where all manner of unsavory characters hung out. In fact, they were in the process of interviewing one, using the same _American Idol_-type table that had been used for the earlier auditions.

"So, Senor El Oso" Mad Jack began "what can you bring to the Bean Brigade?"

He was talking to a large hairy man, with a bulbous nose and wearing a loincloth and a beanie that resembled a bear's head.

"Well, I can bring myself for one" El Oso replied "that's a little joke there. Seriously though, I'm like, super strong and whatever."

"And are you willing to shower?" Mad Jack asked.

"No way man, my smell is, like, part of my whole villain thing" El Oso replied.

"I see" Mad Jack replied "but besides your enhanced strength, and questionable hygiene, what else can you do?"

"Um…I don't know man" El Oso replied "nobody's ever asked me that before. Come to think of it, nobody asked me for a resume before either."

"Yes, and thanks so much for that" Mad Jack said, holding a dirty piece of paper covered with scribbles "before we make our decision, we'll have to see you in action."

"No problem, there's a bank around the corner I can rob" El Oso said "then I'll show you gringos that you need El Oso as part of your grape group."

"Bean Brigade" Mad Jack corrected him.

"Grapes, beans, they both give me gas" El Oso replied.

* * *

"I can't believe I was rejected by every club" Manny whined to Frida, outside the school. "Even the 'acceptance club' turned me down, and they accept everybody."

"I told you it wouldn't be easy" Frida said "you're not going to just find a group to join around the corner."

Just then, Manny heard the familiar sound of an alarm bell.

"Uh oh, trouble" he said "this looks like a job for…El Tigre!"

Spinning his belt buckle, he turned into his alter-ego of El Tigre.

"We'd better see what that disturbance is" he told Frida as he rushed out of the school.

"This has got to be better than going to class" Frida said, as she followed behind him.

* * *

Control Freak: Now that we're back, I thought I'd read some comments from our readers. This one is from supercoolrox45. "Dear Bean Brigade, you suck. You are the stupidest idea since Barney. I mean, a bunch of lame villains forming a group? That is so stupid. You can all eat…" Heh heh, this one must be a joke.

Motor Ed: Okay, here's one from some dude called awesomeman. "I luv the BB, wen are U guys going to make a Disney movie parody." Well dude, how about never, seriously.

CF: Yeah, the whole Disney movie parody thing is played out. Although, a _Little Mermaid _parody wouldn't be bad. I already know who would play Ariel.

(Charmcaster enters).

Charmcaster: Don't even think about it! There is no way I'm wearing a seashell bikini to satisfy the perverted desires of you and your Internet geek buddies! (leaves).

CF: So much for that. Anyway, villain-fun writes "I have an idea for someone to join the Bean Brigade; how about a villain from _Ying Yang Yo, _since they have so many lame ones?" That's a possibility, I guess, I do like Saranoia.

Motor Ed: We'll have more fan messages later. In our next rocking chapter, we watch that punk El Tigre in action and decide to recruit him, seriously.

CF: But what happens when he has to fight his father? If you want to find out…

Both: Read & Review!

* * *

Also, if anyone out there who knows a lot about _El Tigre_ wants to help out, feel free to e-mail me. I promise to give you writing credit.


	2. We Want You as a New Recruit

"So what do you guys think? Pretty good huh?" El Oso asked, as he emerged from the bank with two huge sacks of money.

"Quite impressive" Mad Jack replied "we may not need to interview any other villains."

"Hold on, we all get a say in this, and I don't want some hairy guy on the team" Charmcaster replied. "Not to mention having to deal with his smell all the time."

"What you got against my hair and scent, lady?" El Oso asked.

"She's right Senor Oso, we may be interviewing a few others for this position" Mad Jack explained.

"You don't need to do that, when I am clearly the man for the job" El Oso replied.

"Hold it right there El Oso" a familiar voice rang out.

Everyone turned to see El Tigre and Frida standing nearby.

"Aww man, could you maybe come back later?" El Oso asked "I'm in the middle of a job interview."

"What kind of job requires you to rob a bank?" Frida asked "and are there any other openings?"

El Oso tried to smash El Tigre, but the young hero quickly rolled out of the way, then used one of his claws as a grappling hook. Attaching it to the roof of the bank, he swung at El Oso and knocked him over. Meanwhile, the Bean Brigade members fled across the street to watch the action.

"You'll pay for that!" El Oso roared and tried to swat him.

"Hey El Oso, your shoes are untied" El Tigre said. "Huh?" El Oso replied, and looked down "hey, I'm not wearing shoes, man."

The distraction was all the time El Tigre needed to grab a bag of the money, and, using his super strength, swung it at El Oso's head.

"Ow man" the villain managed before he crashed to the ground.

"Good work Manny, I mean, El Tigre" Frida said.

"It was no problem" El Tigre said "I just wish I knew what he was talking about when he said someone was offering him a job."

He then looked at the bags of money "hmm, he did say it was part of his job" El Tigre said "and the bank does have plenty…"

"Manny, you're not thinking of stealing that money, are you?" Frida asked angrily "without giving me a cut?"

Meanwhile, from thier posistion across the street, the villains watched the situation unfold.

"Did anybody else think that El Oso guy sounded like Motor Ed with a Spanish accent?" Tolinator asked.

"Forget that, let's get that little punk!" Control Freak shouted, but Mad Jack stopped him.

"Hold on" he said "the kid may not be exactly what he seems. But we need to find out…"

While El Tigre debated as to if he should take the bank money, Mad Jack walked across the street to greet him.

"Excellent work kid" he said "you sure showed that El Oso a thing or two."

"Who are you?"

"The name's Jack, Mad Jack, and my associates and I were the ones thinking of hiring El Oso" he explained "see, we have an opening in our group, and we're looking to fill it."

"What kind of group?" El Tigre asked.

"Just an assemblage of people with bizarre powers" Mad Jack explained "we travel the world getting into all sorts of adventures. And after seeing how you dealt with El Oso, I'm thinking of asking you to join."

"Well, my papi did want me to join a group" El Tigre said "and I do like the idea of travelling."

"If you're interested, here's our card" Mad Jack said, giving El Tigre a business card "we have to go now, but we may cross paths with you again."

As Mad Jack walked back across the street, El Tigre looked at the card. "The Bean Brigade" he read "creating havoc and mayhem since a week ago. This sounds like a group for villains, no wonder they wanted to recruit El Oso."

"Hero, villain, big deal" Frida said "you should've asked what kind of swag they had."

"Why'd you give the kid a business card?" Ed asked Jack, as they walked down the streets of Miracle City.

"Yeah, do you want him to bust us or something?" CF inquired.

"Hardly, when I watched that kid defeat El Oso, I saw him agonize over whether to return the bank money, or keep some for himself" Mad Jack explained "I think he's torn between doing good or evil, and I think we're the ones who can push him towards the right direction."

"But why would we want him to do good?" Tolinator wondered.

Charmcaster responded by smacking him in the back of the head.

* * *

El Tigre & Frida went back to school and, when it was over, Manny headed back to his house.

"Hola son, did you have a good day at school?" Rodolfo asked him.

"Si" Manny replied, not stopping to look at him.

He rushed around the house till he found his grandfather, Puma Loco, watching TV.

"I love reality shows" he said "they always exploit the most evil of human behavior And the senoritas are not bad looking either."

"Grandpapi" Manny began "were you ever part of a group."

"Si, when I was young, I was part of Los Hombres de Malo" Puma Loco recalled "we had a lot of good times, robbing places and terrorizing the populace. Then we kept running into that accursed Legion de Justice. I still don't know why I ever let your father join that group."

"Anyway, papi wants me to join a group, like he did when he was younger" Manny explained "and this man offered me a chance to do so, but the group is a group of villains, and I'm not sure if I should join, cause papi might get upset."

"Who cares what he thinks" Puma Loco said "I say go for it, being part of a group of villains is the most fun you'll ever have, trust me."

"I guess you're right grandpapi" Manny said "I will get in contact with the man and tell him I'm in. And I guess if papi doesn't find out, it'll be alright."

"That's the spirit my boy" Puma Loco said "now let me watch my shows."

* * *

The next day, at school, Manny talked with Frida about what his grandfather said.

"You don't think it's wrong that I didn't tell my papi about any of this, do you?" Manny asked her.

"Hey, what he doesn't know can't hurt you" Frida replied "I don't tell my parents everything, and I'm much happier for it."

"What are you two talking about?" someone from behind asked.

"None of your business Zoe" Frida replied to the Goth girl, "so why don't you crawl back to whatever graveyard you were hanging out in."

"Oh yeah, well why don't you go play with your lame band?" Zoe asked angrily.

"The Atomic Sombreros are not lame" Frida replied "we happen to have a number of gigs. They're all at the same place, but still."

"Come on Frida, let's get to class before you start something" Manny said, dragging his friend away.

"Those two are up to something, and I'm going to find out what" Zoe said as she watched them leave.

"Who are you talking to?" asked a student at his locker.

"Shut up."

* * *

Later, Manny (now transformed into El Tigre) and Frida showed up at the scummy bar in Calavera. They had been told where to meet after Manny called the number on the card he was given.

"Ahh, good to see you're on time Senor Tigre" Mad Jack replied "punctuality is a good quality in a villain."

"It is?" Tolinator asked, "shouldn't being late be one, since we're villains?"

For his stupid comment, he received another smack on his head, this time from Motor Ed.

"Who's the girl, is she your sidekick?" CF asked.

"Sidekick? Hardly, I'm more like his associate" Frida replied "and I also want to make sure he gets his fair share of all your cool swag."

"So, what evil thing will we be doing today?" El Tigre asked "robbing a bank, stealing candy from a baby."

"Easy there tiger" Mad Jack replied, snickering a little at his unintentional pun "you're not in yet. First you need to pass an initiation test."

"You guys never made me go through a test" Tolinator added.

"Yes we did" Ed replied "remember when you had to clean the entire lair with a toothbrush, seriously."

"I just thought that was because we were out of mops."

"Anyway" Mad Jack continued "we've picked a very special test for you. There's a local hero in these parts, White Pantera, and we want you to take him down."

El Tigre nearly choked when he heard that.

"Something wrong, El Tigre?" Mad Jack asked suspiciously.

"No, it's just that, White Pantera is kind of washed up" El Tigre explained "he's so lame, it's hardly worth beating him up. Couldn't I do something else, like put laxatives in someone's food?"

"If you want to hang with us, you need to show you're ruthless" Mad Jack said "now, we'll lure White Pantera out in the open, and you do the rest."

As they headed out, Frida approached her friend. "I wonder how long you'll be grounded for fighting your dad" she said.

"I won't be grounded if he doesn't know it's me" El Tigre said "and I have a plan to make sure he doesn't find out."

* * *

Motor Ed: That Manny & Frida sure are good together, huh bro?

Control Freak: Yeah. Too bad they'll never be an item.

Ed: What makes you so sure?

CF: (pulls out a copy of Not Just Cartoons: Nicktoons ) According to page 229, and I quote "we don't really want them to have a romantic relationship." That's straight from the mouth of co-creator Sandra Equihua, and if a creator says it, then it's canon.

Ed: Love can't be controlled man. It needs to run free, like a mag car tricked out with a huge stereo system and giant rims, seriously.

CF: Hey, I don't make the rules, I just argue about them pointlessly in chatrooms.

Ed: Chat this! (punches him out). All you dudes out there, don't listen to my acne-ridden partner, seriously. You pair up those Mexican tamales if you want to bros, 'cause you gotta fight for your right to love! Yaaaaah! Anyhoo, the next chapter doesn't feature love, but does feature El Tigre fighting his dad or something, seriously. Kinda like _Star Wars_, but less cool. Anyway, read & review while I revive fatty.


	3. Fathers and Sons

The Bean Brigade began attacking Miracle City, hoping to lure White Pantera out, and it wasn't long before they achieved that feat.

"Halt evildoers, or face the wrath of, White Pantera!" he said, arriving on the scene.

"A pleasure to meet the famous White Pantera" Mad Jack said "too bad we have to destroy you."

"You are the ones who will be destroyed" White Pantera replied "although not literally, as I do not kill people."

"Yes well, we have no such reservations" Mad Jack said "all right newbie, get to it."

El Tigre then emerged from a nearby house, wearing a paper bag with eyeholes over his head.

"Grr, I am the evil Senor Baggio" he said "surrender White Pantera, or I shall give you the beating of your life."

"What is the kid doing?" Charmcaster asked.

"Failing, apparently" Mad Jack replied.

"Odd, you sound like my son Manny" White Pantera said "in fact, you look similar to him, except for the bag."

"Well, I am not Manny, or whatever your son's name is" El Tigre replied "now get out of here, before I am forced to fight you."

"Are you sure you're not Manny?" White Pantera asked suspiciously.

"I said no dad…I mean, hero scum!" El Tigre replied.

"Manny, what is going on here, why are you associating with these criminals?" White Pantera asked.

Manny sighed and took the bag off his head. "I'm sorry papi, I just wanted to join a group, like you suggested."

"This wasn't exactly, what I had in mind, but I appreciate that you were willing to listen to me" White Pantera replied.

"Thanks papi, sorry about the whole 'trying to attack you' thing."

"Okay, this is getting us nowhere" Mad Jack replied "destroy the both of them, and we'll continue our search for a recruit."

"Can do, seriously" Motor Ed replied, running forward to engage White Pantera.

The elder Rivera avoided his blow and connected with one of his own, right to the chest.

"Face my plunger of doom!" Tolinator shouted, as he ran at White Pantera from behind. El Tigre then used one of his claws to hook unto a nearby building; swinging through the air, he grabbed the so-called "plunger of doom" and affixed it to the villain's face in one swift motion.

"Oh man!" Tolinator muffled from under the rubber stopper.

Meanwhile, Control Freak attempted to stop White Pantera. "Give it up you washed up excuse for a luchador" he said.

"Perhaps I am no longer a full-time hero, but at least I have not let myself go, as you have."

"Most of this is glandular!" CF yelled.

White Pantera ignored him and kicked the remote out of his hands, then twisted his arm behind him.

"Ahh, uncle, uncle!" CF screamed.

"Here we say tio" White Pantera explained.

"Very well, tio, tio!"

"Very good" WP replied, before pushing him forward and releasing his arm.

He crashed into Mather, who was attempting to hassle El Tigre with one of his many lame weapons.

"Your villainous cohorts have been defeated" White Pantera told Mad Jack "it would probably be in your best interests if you surrendered."

"I'd love to, but I'm afraid my business here is not yet complete" Mad Jack replied "Charmcaster, if you would."

The young sorceress emerged from behind a nearby building and let loose with a blinding flash.

"Of all the days not to wear my sunglasses!" White Pantera said, as he shielded his eyes from the glow. When the flash finally faded, the villains were gone.

"It seems those mysterious villains have escaped" White Pantera noted "but no matter, I am sure we will meet again for some reason."

Then he turned his attention to Manny "and as for you young man, we are going to have a serious discussion about this when we get home."

"Yes papi" El Tigre said, hanging his head in shame.

"Don't be too hard on Manny, Mr. Rivera" Frida said, emerging from a nearby alley "I want him to still come to my Atomic Sombreros concert tonight."

"Frida, were you here the whole time?" White Pantera asked, confused.

"Duh, where else would I be?" Frida replied.

* * *

Meanwhile, the Bean Brigade members had succeeded in escaping to a nearby alley.

"Not very roomy, is it?" Tolinator asked.

"Never mind that" Mad Jack said "it's clearly obvious that El Tigre is not the villain for us. And now that we tried to destroy him, you can bet he'll be out to get us."

"So what, we can handle that little pussycat punk" Ed replied.

"Please, did you see what he did to El Oso?" Mad Jack said "if we're going to continue our villain search uninterrupted, we need to find a way to take care of El Tigre."

"I believe I can be of assistance" said a female voice from nearby.

"Who's there?" Mad Jack asked.

The villains looked towards the front of the alley and saw a large shadow on the wall.

"Whoever she is, she's huge!" Tolinator commented.

The figure moved closer revealing that the large shadow belonged to a small young girl.

"Beat it squirt, we don't need another pint-size villain applicant" Mad Jack said "we had enough trouble with that El Tigre."

"That's why I'm here" Black Cuervo said, "I can help you get rid of El Tigre, and all I ask in return is a chance to prove myself."

"What can a girl like you possibly do?" CF asked.

Black Cuervo then produced a laser blaster from her wrist, and blasted a huge hole in the wall in the back of the alley. Tolinator, who happened to be the closest one to said wall, took one look at the gaping hole near his head and promptly fainted

"Is that good enough for you?" she asked.

"Maybe we can do business" Mad Jack said.

* * *

Later that day, Frida was walking over to Manny's house.

"I hope Mr. Rivera didn't ground Manny for too long" she said, "it'll be really boring without him. And who am I talking to?"

_I really shouldn't be walking these streets alone at mid-day _she thought _but what are the odds that something will happen? _

As she crossed the street and stepped on the corner, a van pulled up and the sliding back door opened. Before Frida realized what happened, she was quickly grabbed by Motor Ed, before she could even make a sound.

Once the doors were closed, the van headed off towards its' destination. Ed let go of her and picked her up by the back of her suspenders, watching as she tried vainly to hit him.

"Not you guys again" Frida said, "didn't you learn anything after White Pantera kicked your butts earlier?"

"Indeed, we learned that you are exactly what we need to exact a brilliant revenge on El Tigre" Mad Jack said "I think you'll be quite impressed with what we've come up with."

"You know, the whole 'capture me so El Tigre can save me' bit has been done before" Frida explained "if you guys really want to be unique, you'd let me go, nobody's ever done that before."

The villains thought for a minute and considered her idea.

"Nah!" they replied in unison.

* * *

Motor Ed: To make up for my bro's lack of romance in the last chapter, we've come up with something really special.

Control Freak: We've noticed that a lot of stories feature couples comprised of characters from two different shows. So we've decided to give these fan couplings nicknames, like all the major Hollywood couples do.

Ed: You know, like Brangelina, or Bennifer, or whatever, seriously.

CF: We'll start with who are probably considered the Brangelina of fanfiction couples, Danny Phantom & Juniper Lee. Since they both share an "n" in their name, we've decided to call them "Dane," as in "Danny and June."

Ed: Of course, if we use their full names, it would be "Daniper", which just sounds freaky.

CF: Next up is the odd pairing of Ash Ketchum & Ami Onuki. Since each of their names is only three letters and starts with "A", we just went with "Double A" for them.

Ed: Like the batteries?

CF: If that helps. And it works for any couple.

Ed: Right, take Dash Parr & Haley Long and you get "Daley."

CF: Snoopy & Dot, becomes "Snot."

Ed: That's a gross one.

CF: So let us know what fanfiction couples you'd like for us to give stupid nicknames to.

Ed: As for the next chapter, not much happens, seriously. El Tigre shows up, there's a fight and we escape with BC.

CF: So read and review, and don't forget the couple suggestions.


	4. Not Tamale

"Do you know the shame I would feel, knowing my son was part of a gang of costumed hoodlums?" Rodolfo asked Manny back at the Rivera home.

"Lighten up on him son, I didn't complain when you joined that stupid Junior League" Puma Loco added.

"That is because the Junior League was a noble organization" Rodolfo replied "we picked up trash in the neighborhood, read to the elderly, and did anything else we could to brighten up the community. Your group was a bunch of chaos causing hoodlums!"

"Don't talk to me like that, you think I can't still take you over my knee?" Puma Loco asked.

"You wouldn't spank me" Rodolfo replied.

"Try me son."

"Um, am I being punished, or not?" Manny asked.

"Go to your room for now, and I'll decide later" Rodolfo ordered.

* * *

A few minutes later, the phone rang.

"Manny, it is one of your classmates" Rodolfo called up.

Manny took the phone and listened in, "um, hello?"

"Hey Manny" Mad Jack's voice came from the other end "sorry about how things went down today."

"I'm not supposed to be talking to you" Manny said "my papi will ground me if he finds out."

"Look, I just wanted to apologize and tell you that we've reconsidered your membership" Mad Jack explained "if you could meet us down at the old tamale warehouse, we can finish things."

"I don't know, my papi would be pretty mad if he found out I was meeting with you" Manny said.

"Well, your friend Frida is here, and she can't wait for you to arrive" Mad Jack explained.

"Oh, well if Frida is there, I'm sure papi will understand" Manny said "okay, give me 10 minutes."

"Take all the time you need" Mad Jack explained "we need time to set up the surprise--er prize, that you'll be receiving."

"I'm pretty sure you said 'surprise'" Manny replied.

"Must be a bad connection" Mad Jack explained "remember, that's the old tamale warehouse. And don't tell anyone, this is just between you and us."

"Si, no problemo" Manny replied before hanging up.

"What did your school chum want my son?" Rodolfo asked.

"He needed me to come over to his house pronto" Manny lied "I know you were going to ground me, but can I go?"

"I don't see why not" Rodolfo said "I'd rather have you studying with your classmates than associating yourselves with known hoodlums."

"Thanks papi, bye!" Manny said, as he zipped off to his room.

"I've never seen the boy so excited about studying before" Rodolfo replied "I must have done something right."

* * *

Several minutes later, Manny, again dressed as El Tigre, arrived at the tamale warehouse.

"Hello? Senor Jack?" El Tigre called "I'm here."

"Ah, good to see that you've arrived" Mad Jack said, emerging from the shadows.

"So, you mentioned something about giving me another chance?" Manny asked.

"Of course, of course" Mad Jack said, putting his arm around the young hero and leading him deeper into the factory "we can tell you have great potential for evil."

"I wouldn't say that exactly" El Tigre replied.

"Don't be so modest" Mad Jack replied, who was acting a little too nice for Manny's taste "after all, didn't you defy your father to come down here?"

"Well yeah…"

"Well, that's a start."

He led El Tigre over to where the other BB members were. What seemed odd was that most of the room was lit, but there was a big section nearby that was still dark.

"Now of course, if you hope to join us, there is one little test we expect you to perform first" CF explained.

"Sure no problem, what is it?" El Tigre asked.

Suddenly, the lights came on over the shadowed area, and El Tigre was shocked by what he saw. It was Frida, tied to a chair and tightly gagged. The blue haired girl saw her friend and attempted to communicate around the cloth over her mouth.

"All you need to do is kill your friend" Mad Jack explained.

* * *

"Um, couldn't I do something else?" El Tigre asked "maybe rob a bank, or steal a car? I know I'm too young to drive, but…"

"No, if you want in, you have to destroy the girl" Mad Jack replied.

"And what if I refuse?" El Tigre asked defiantly.

"Then we'll kill you" Charmcaster explained.

"And if you haven't noticed, the odds are in our favor" Mather added.

El Tigre looked at the captive Frida, then at the group of villains. Sighing, he slowly made his way towards Frida, who muffled loudly as he approached.

"Sorry I have to do this" he said, raising his claws.

Frida screamed into her gag as the claw came down, and closed her eyes. But El Tigre had simply cut the ropes that tied her to the chair.

"I'd never join a club that would make me kill my best friend!" El Tigre said, turning to face the villains "I don't care how many of you there are, I'll beat you all!"

"Manny, it's a trap!" Frida said, having finally pulled down her gag.

"Well duh, I could figure that out" El Tigre replied "but it wasn't a very good one. I mean, shouldn't there have been some kind of actual snare or…"

He was interrupted when a small cage fell from the ceiling and trapped him. "Never mind."

"So, you thought you could make fools out of us and get away with it huh?" Mad Jack asked, as he approached the cage.

"You guys don't need help making fools of yourselves" El Tigre replied.

"Let's see if you're as funny when our new ally gets through with you" Mad Jack replied, stepping aside to reveal Black Cuervo.

"You were here the whole time?" El Tigre asked, "how did I miss you?"

"I hid behind the fat guy" Black Cuervo explained, before drawing her blaster "and now, to rid myself of you for good."

But El Tigre used his claws to cut through the cage bars, then grappled unto the ceiling and avoided the blast.

"So long losers!" he said.

Black Cuervo activated her wings and flew after him, while the rest of the villains watched on.

"Neat" Tolinator replied.

"Go and give the girl a hand" Mather said to him, and Tolinator followed the two.

"Why'd you send him?"

"According to my calculations, he was due for a win" Mather explained.

Meanwhile, Frida tried to sneak away, but Charmcaster saw her and, using her powers, trapped her in an energy ball.

"Don't think we've forgotten about you" Mad Jack told the captive Frida "since we have no further use for you, it's time for you to become a tamale."

"But I don't even like tamales!" Frida exclaimed.

"Release the girl and surrender, foul fiends!" came a familiar voice.

"You have got to be kidding me" Mad Jack replied.

Standing not too far nearby was White Pantera, along with Puma Loco in his mech.

"How the heck did you find us, seriously?" Motor Ed wondered.

"As a good father, I sometimes listen in on my son's phone calls, just to make sure he's not planning on doing something he'll regret" White Pantera explained "like coming here, for example. Now surrender."

"How about we don't, and instead, we kill you?" Mad Jack asked.

"That would also be acceptable" White Pantera replied "if you could pull it off."

* * *

Motor Ed: Okay, we're back with more reader mail, seriously. This one's from dude called 'Disneyman12'. He writes "Dear Bean Brigade, what movie parodies are you guys planning to do?" Well dude, we are planning a parody of _Diary of a Mad Black Woman_. My bro here does a great Madea impression.

Control Freak: (Badly imitates old woman) I ain't afraid of the popo, call the popo ho'!

Ed: That's dead on.

CF: Our next one is from 'videogamer' who writes "why don't you do a story where you hassle the gang from _Kingdom Hearts?" _Yeah, and then maybe I'll join the Atkins diet.

Ed: 'Iluvfictions' writes "this whole story idea is lame. The idea that stupid villains would work together is dumber than New Coke or Scrappy-Doo." Well you're entitled to your opinion, seriously, but I'm also entitled to crack your skull open with a wrench.

CF: Harsh. This next one is from 'Bring-back-Teen-Titans-pleeze' who writes "why the heck is Control Freak in your group? The Titans have had way dumber villains." Hey that's a good question. This kid has a lot on the ball.

Ed: Bro you wrote that, seriously.

CF: Okay, you got me.

Ed: Our last one is from 'little bastard child' who says "I luv Danny & June pleeze do more." Um, I think you have us confused with someone else bro, seriously.

CF: Yeah, check to make sure you read the right story. Anyway, in the next chapter we engage in battle against the Riveras'. Will our superior tactics win out?

Ed: What do you think? Read and review and watch this space for more totally real e-mails from fans like you, seriously.


	5. El Fight de Grande

Meanwhile, elsewhere in the warehouse, El Tigre was swinging around, trying to avoid the laser blasts of Black Cuervo, who was flying after him.

"You can't swing forever" she said "and when you run out of room, you'll be one fried tiger."

El Tigre knew she was right, so he did something she wouldn't expect; swung back at her. That surprised Black Cuervo and knocked her to the ground, with El Tigre landing safely due to his cat-like reflexes.

He then used his claws to slice her laser apart.

"Why didn't I do that when I first battled her?" he asked aloud "Oh right, because I was captivated by her evil, enchanting beauty. And who am I talking to?"

Black Cuervo, meanwhile, got up and regained her wits.

"You'll pay for that!" she shouted "it's time for you to feel the wrath of…"

"The Tolinator!" Tolinator interrupted.

"What? No I was going to say 'the Flock of Fury' stupid bathroom man" Black Cuervo said "what are you even doing here, anyway?"

"The others sent me to help" Tolinator explained.

"Well I don't need any help, especially from a laughable villain such as yourself" Black Cuervo replied "now get out of here so I can destroy El Tigre."

"But I can be useful!" Tolinator whined "look, I can wrap up that tiger kid in my special extra strength toilet paper."

With that, he fired streams of the stuff at El Tigre, who simply grabbed it.

"This isn't good" Tolinator replied.

With lightning fast speed, El Tigre used the toilet paper to effectively cocoon both villains.

"Thanks for the help Senor Tolinator" El Tigre said "if this villain thing doesn't work out for you, perhaps you could become a hero, since you seem to be of little help to your fellow villains. Well, I'm off to help my family, you two don't go anywhere, okay?" he added, as he dashed off towards the melee.

"I wonder if it's too late for me to reconsider my options" Black Cuervo asked.

"Whoopee! My extra-strength toilet paper actually works!" Tolinator said happily "wait until the others hear about this!"

* * *

Meanwhile, the Riveras were putting up a good fight against the remaining Bean Brigade members.

White Pantera had defeated Motor Ed by tricking him into looking at his Bronze Boots of Truth, then kicking him in the face with them.

Puma Loco, meanwhile, was contending with the Mather and his number tricks.

"Face my decimal points, old man" he said, hurling several of the steel spheres at the retired villain.

They landed a few inches from Puma Loco's mech. "Looks like you missed" Puma Loco replied "man, I can't believe you're what passes for a villain today. Makes me sad about the state of my profession."

Before he could say anything else, the spheres began to melt the ground where they had fallen, weakening it enough so that he crashed right through. Fortunately, he was smart enough to use his arms to grab a ledge before falling completely.

"Who's the loser now?" Mather asked, approaching the crater "suddenly, the old, wise super villain is the one in trouble. Maybe you're the pathetic one, did you ever think of that?"

Puma Loco didn't respond, but instead activated his jets, flying out of the hole.

"Maybe I had jets, you ever think of that?" he asked.

"This was not something I had calculated" Mather replied, before one of the mech's fists punched him into a nearby crate of tamales.

Unknown to Puma Loco, Control Freak was planning to use his remote to take control of his suit.

"Enjoy victory now, old man, because soon, you'll be working for us" he said, aiming the remote.

"El Tigre!" came a shout, as the jungle hero swung into the portly villain, knocking the remote from his hand. Before CF had a chance to retaliate, El Tigre picked him up and tossed him aside.

"Well done Manny" White Pantera congratulated his son "I guess we showed these villains that together, the Riveras are unstoppable."

"I doubt that highly" Mad Jack said.

Father and son looked to see the villain and Charmcaster standing nearby, with Frida in the grip of the young sorceress "I would suggest giving up, or the annoying blue-haired girl gets it" Mad Jack told them.

"What do we do papi? We cannot endanger Frida's life."

"Release the girl and fight me on your own terms villain!" White Pantera shouted.

"But what fun would that be?" Mad Jack asked "now then, do you surrender, or does my associate here turn Miss Suarez into guacamole?"

"Literally?" Frida asked.

"Of course not."

"Good, 'cause that would be really, really weird" Frida replied.

Seeing little choice, White Pantera & El Tigre raised their hands in surrender.

"You, in the robot, come on, hands up" Mad Jack ordered "I don't have all day."

"Si senor" Puma Loco replied, and raised up the hands of his mech, but not before activating a missile. The missile crashed into the ceiling, sending down a huge pile of debris; thinking quickly, El Tigre bolted towards the villains and grabbed Frida before the debris buried them.

"Good thinking papi" White Pantera said "although I don't approve of using such underhanded methods."

"Hey, if you want to beat a villain, you need to think like one" Puma Loco replied.

"Come Manny, let us go home" White Pantera said "and I hope you learned something from all this."

"Si, I did" El Tigre replied "I learned that clubs could be dangerous, so it's best to not be part of one. In fact, it's best to never interact with people again, and spend the rest of your life as a depressed shut-in."

"Um, I was thinking more along the lines of always be cautious when you sign up for something you know nothing about" White Pantera explained.

"I know, I was just joking with you" El Tigre added.

"I'm going to call my dad to come round up these guys" Frida said "and though I'm usually a peaceful person, after what they put me through, I hope they get a little taste of police brutality!"

* * *

After the heroes left, the pile of debris on Mad Jack and Charmcaster fell away, revealing the two of them under a transparent dome of sorts.

"Lucky for both of us that I knew how to perform that force field spell" she said, dissipating the force field.

"Extremely lucky" Mad Jack replied "now let's gather up everyone and retreat. You heard the girl, the police will be here shortly and I'd rather we didn't deal with them."

Once all the villains had been revived (or cut out of a toilet paper cocoon), Mad Jack used his watch to transport them back to headquarters.

"Ah, my conquering heroes return" Hannibal said "am I right in assuming that you've obtained a new member for us."

Mad Jack nodded "this is Black Cuervo" he explained "we met her in Miracle City."

He stepped aside and let the young bird-themed villainess reveal herself.

"So you are the mastermind behind this group" she said "I am very interested in joining you, provided you can help me become a more fearsome villain, like my mother and grandma."

"My dear, stick with us and you'll be a household name in no time flat" Hannibal said "now, we have several things to take care of before you can become an official member, so let's get to it."

"Is one of them retrieving the jet?" Mather asked "I just remembered we left it back at Miracle City."

"Then how did we get home?" CF asked.

"Bus."

The evil bean ignored his compatriots and walked off down a hallway with the young villainess, while the other villains went their separate ways.

"So…how much do I get paid?" Black Cuervo asked, as she disappeared down the hall.

* * *

Next Time:

Hearing reports of dinosaurs all around the globe, the BB investigates, hoping to capture the creatures for their own evil use. They soon run into a young group of kids dedicated to helping the dinos, and find themselves in a situation that seems right out of a popular anime series. Plus Tolinator attends a group therapy session for lame villains. So stay tuned for the next New Bean Brigade adventure "Jurassic Bore."


End file.
